Like it or not, I worry a lot. I worry about the future, about my present, my living circumstances, my finances, my business, I worry for my loved ones. I try not to make myself sick over it, but I do worry a lot, and I would like to change that this year.
You see, our mindset has a tremendous effect on our everyday life: it affects our performance at work, our health, our relationships, our business success...literally everything. Even Henry Ford agrees with this:
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t — you’re right.”
I’ve noticed lately that I had some serious “can’t” thoughts affecting my mindset for some time, and these thoughts often made me paralised in fear and resulted in inaction. Of course this is the exact opposite that I’m usually striving for, so I was decidedly unhappy with these thoughts.
2019 was an interesting year in my life: I’ve arrived at a crossroad. No, that’s not even close to what it was: it was the mother of all crossroads, a bloody master junction which was pretty difficult to even comprehend. It was a heady mixture of a bold career move that I wasn’t quite ready for, the fact that I’ve turned 40 that year, which highlighted some facts in my personal life, and dealing with the aftermath of some professional burnout. Throw into the mixture some nomadic lifestyle pursuits and the internal longing for feeling settled and rooted at voila: I had this messy concoction I’ve created in my life and it was time for bottoms up. As a result I had to face some of my deepest fears (I will tell you more about this later this month), had to make some uncomfortable decisions and deal with the consequences.
Was it the end of the world? No, it wasn’t, although there were moments when I thought it was. Regardless, it’s safe to say that it has shaken up my self-confidence and added a big dosage of fear and worry to my everydays. As a result, I’ve started to play safe, quickly talked myself out of great plans and ideas because I feared failure.
Because of all that happened in 2019, I’ve noticed that my thoughts were focused on scarcity: of opportunities, of money, of friends and emotional support. I’ve started to pay attention to what I didn’t have instead of focusing on all the things I did have. And this led to worrying about things. I’ve started to worry about the future and this scarcity mindset made me panicky about losing that little that I had. Negative thoughts, like “what if I lose this paying gig and I’ll have to start looking again”, or “what if something terrible happens and I only have this amount saved”, or “what if I go down that road, start pursuing that particular dream and I’ll find out way down the road that I don’t have enough creativity and drive to succeed”?
See the pattern?
I was completely focused on what I didn’t have instead of believing that I had more than enough, and more was on its way. And even though I’m using past tense here, these worries and fears didn’t leave me, no matter how much I would love to tell you otherwise. But now at least I’m aware of what I’m doing, and I want to change this, because I don’t like the woman it turns me into. I don’t like to be scared and worried most of the time. I don’t enjoy letting the worst-case scenarios play in my head every time I have to make a decision, and I don’t like to play it safe, just because I fear to be bold.
So this year my word is ABUNDANCE.
Or should I say it is my new mantra?
The famous saying goes like this:
“The secret of having it all is knowing you already do.”
What does it mean in my life?
Being confident that I have what it takes to succeed as an entrepreneur.
Daring to think big and knowing that I can do it and achieve it, even if it seems unattainable at the moment.
Knowing that I have more than enough creativity and plenty of value that I can share with the world.
Being sure that money will never be an issue. Knowing that I’m a smart woman with lots of great skills and experiences - I will always be able to make it, no matter what.
Cherishing all the family and friends I have in my life and being there for them, whilst knowing without a shadow of a doubt that they will be there for me too.
Having this unwavering belief that I will be able to find the true meaning and drive of my life, that the pieces eventually will form the whole picture.
How am I going to do this?
This year I’m working on some mental health practices, that I hope will help me to change my scarcity mindset into abundance mindset:
I’ve started the practice of gratitude journaling a few weeks ago, and I can already see the effect of it. I’m going to continue this practice: just a few minutes in the morning and before bed, and I start and end each day with a feeling of gratitude and counting my blessings.
I’ve always wanted to learn how to meditate, and 2020 is going to be the year when I will finally do it. I’ve already signed up for an 8-week course run locally. It will start at the end of January, and should give me all the tools and knowledge to practice on my own once the course is over.
I’m going to watch my thoughts in order to intercept before all the negative and scarcity thoughts would hijack my thinking. This is particularly important when it comes to my profession and projects.
I’ll carefully curate the people I’m spending quality time with. I’m going to share the power of abundant mindset with my loved ones, but will be careful around people who project negativity.
I’ve never chosen a single word for a year. I saw this being practiced by people in my circles, by some really influential people too, whom I truly admire and look up to. It seems it worked for them, so I have no doubt that this will have a decidedly positive effect on my own life as well.
What is your word for 2020? If you don’t have one yet, don’t panic. Remember, we have the privilege to take our time with goal settings, or - in this instance - with choosing our word for the year. But if you haven’t done it yet, or you’ve never tried this before, why not make this coming weekend (or even weeks) the time to think about it and see what would have the most positive effect on your life? By choosing a word you are effectively creating an always-present reminder that helps guiding your decisions throughout the year.
So pick a word.